Wow, I never realized how long it had actually been since I’d been on here. I know, I said I would be up here more often and I haven’t been, but quite frankly I just haven’t even thought about it. Nor have I needed it really. But lately my life’s been getting a little crazy, and I think it’d be more healthy for me to have some way to vent once in a while.
Let’s see where to start. Well, something that’s always on the forefront of my mind is, as with most teenage girls, a boy. And it’s not going to be any soppy typical teenage LUST story either (I hope) because the point is… Well I’ve never really felt this way about a boy before. I can’t explain it well enough to really get the message across, but he’s brilliant, funny, charming and in my opinion good looking. I find myself anxiously waiting sometimes for him to get on the computer, just to talk to him. And it sends shivers up my spine everytime he touches me, even in the slightest of ways. Gosh this sounds so cliche! But it’s true! I’ve always heard about these sorts of things, in romance novels and in movies. But, to actually experienc it… is so… thrilling! He’s just fantastic in nearly every way! Sometimes just knowing that he’s going to come over and sit with us at the lunch table I get so nervous! And it’s silly, why should I be nervous? But I’m so excited at the same time too! My heart starts beating faster and I just… It’s obvious there’s a physical effect… And that’s just the thing. When I say I’ve never felt this way about a boy, I mean I’ve never felt so physically AND emotionally attracted to someone before! Even just talking about it makes me smile. He knows it too, well. Maybe not to that extent, but he knows I like him and he likes me too! Which is great! We’ve been talking about dating for a while!
But there’s one thing holding us back… His family is Indian and very religious… they don’t believe in him dating, nor letting him have basically any freedoms at all. And it’s hard, because we can’t really go do anything together outside of school. And because he can’t do anything with his parent’s permission he started sneaking out. I know it’s not good, but it’s not good for him to be sheltered like this either!
This is where the problems begin… He got caught sneaking out. And they pretty much took away any freedom he had in the beginning. He can’t go ANYWHERE outside of school now. It really, really, REALLY sucks. (For lack of a better word) It basically puts a slash on any hopes we had of a future until college… It’s very frustrating. But I’m not giving up! I care too much about him, I want to work all this out! Even if that takes a while! So, no matter what I’m not giving up hope! I know how much it’s stressing him out, so I’m going to do everything I possibly can to help.
Well, I do have to go now. A little feedback would be very nice, thank you so much for listening to me rant. 
I feel a little better.
